Today I was in a moment where I felt overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with emotion, overwhelmed with fatigue. It was like it all came down like a ton of bricks. I hated how my day went and couldn’t understand why because it wasn’t a bad day. I was feeling upset, and the feelings were extremely uncomfortable to be with.

So I decided to walk. I just walked wherever my legs took me, and spoke out loud. Running my day back, thinking of what things I could tweak tomorrow so that I don’t feel like this again, but overall just letting myself feel the feels and getting it out with myself, by myself. After about 45 mins to an hour of walking, I realized I felt soooo much better. Not only did I feel good, I had some realizations.

1. I hadn’t got my usual movement in for the day, so that feeling was most likely my body reacting until I got some movement in
2. If it wasn’t for that moment, those emotions, I wouldn’t have been able to see my growth. The way I was able to handle myself. Which was amazing.

Sometimes those overwhelming situations and emotions come up to give us a chance to see. To see the change in the way we react, to see the way we use the tools acquired, to see the way that we are able to view the situation. If it wasn’t for those moments, it’d be hard to assess.

And I gotta say, I am so proud of myself.

People know exactly what they did, 

And the thinking time is an apology, acting as if it didn’t happen ….all of that. It’s over with. 

This is the era where we hold people accountable. You wanna do some shit then act like you didn’t do it ? That’s fine. Watch this. 

Blocked. Cut off. Boundaries. 

Whichever one is fitting for the situation. Because done are the days where we give the people who hurt us the upper hand by allowing them to have full access to us with no communication. They didn’t earn that. 

And honestly, it messes with your own self image because you deserve better than that. 

You deserve to be around people who can hold space and have a conversation, that’s the people who deserve you at your fullest. 

And this goes for every single human relationship. 

If you can’t have a healthy, mature conversation. If you can’t acknowledge your wrong. If you cannot come to me and apologize for what you know you did & how it affected me……then you just won’t have full access to me. That’s it. Because you know exactly what you did. And if you don’t, you’ll piece it together in the space that I give you. 

What you allow, you subconsciously tell yourself is okay. 

No more.

Today’s message is one of validation: you’re allowed to be angry, you’re allowed to be sad, you’re allowed to be disappointed. 

And anyone who says otherwise is honestly part of the problem. 

You have very real emotions which resulted from a very real situation and you are allowed to feel a type of way about it. And honestly, it’d be unhealthy & robotic if you didn’t. 

Give yourself grace, give yourself space, and know that you aren’t crazy, broken or problematic. 

You’re hurt and the people who caused it won’t even hold space for you to heal. They probably haven’t even apologized. 

And that’s frustrating, on top of the original situation / situations. 

And you’re allowed to be angry about it. 

But let’s also spin that anger into boundaries. 

You got this.

People say they wanna have fun without spending money then the second you show them fun without spending money which happens to be activities that bring you back to carefree childlike wonder , they wanna call it weird. 

Well go spend the money then bitch. 

I’m gonna go swing from a tree while you fight those adulthood demons. 

Me and my ppl gonna go dance in the fields while you pay for overpriced drinks & wings and go swing an ax for the 800th time.

Having fun without spending money is literally playing. FREE playing. Using the imagination. But If you killed that part of you off, I understand why you don’t get it. 

I just hope you find it again or stop complaining about the life you continue to choose.

Sometimes we are so used to being shut down by the people who were supposed to love and nurture us the most, that it becomes something we end up doing to ourselves. 

This looks like: 

• Rejecting your dreams 
• Rejecting your authenticity 
• Getting into situations and staying in situations where people obviously aren’t choosing you because of the familiarity of rejection. 

You’ve spent so much time reassuring the belief that you are unworthy and I’m here to invite you into another perspective 

1111

What if you are worthy ? What if you could accomplish any and everything that you want. What if you are good enough ? What if you are deserving, of love, of happiness, of HEALING. 

What if you deserve to see yourself not through the broken lens that was placed onto you but through your own. 

A lens of truth rather than trauma.

Place focus on the new, rather than the collapsed.

You don’t need fixing. 

Have you ever thought of that ? 

That your constant need to be better is stemmed from a childhood wound that society profits off of

“Buy this self help book” 

“You won’t be complete until you have this”

“Do you feel like complete shit ?? You need this” 

“Feel like shit ? Hate your body? Gym & diet and ozempic it away” 

What if what you really needed was to be seen. To be validated.

You grew up around voices that told you your body was flawed, people who picked on your insecurities and made love seem like it had to be earned. 

And they know this. 

So they profit off of it. 

But it’s time. It’s time to remove the parasite feeding off your wound (leech) and truly heal yourself. 

You can’t gym it away, you can material it away, this isn’t about external validation but internal validation and reassurance 

What you went through was real. 

The abuse. The neglect. The abandonment. 

You shouldn’t have had to earn love. 

You deserved love because you were born. That’s it. 

You were a pure bundle of innocence that just wanted to play, and be loved and spread love and go about your journey knowing that when the journey got hard, you had a safe and loving community to fall back on. 

And I’m sorry you didn’t get that. And if you feel like crying, do that. Because it’s heavy. But know that you can give it to yourself. 

Those people unfortunately couldn’t have ever given it to you but your higher self wants to lead you to places where the love is so abundant that the lack of it feels so faraway. 

You deserve that. But it takes your acknowledgment and reassurance. 

No more running away, no more trying to “fix” it away. It’s time to face it. To love it. To love you, in a soft way. Hold space for you and all you’ve been through so that love and care can be reflected back to you. 

It’s time for healing.

When we pray for our trust, patience, or any other similar characteristic to be strengthened, the Divine will place us in situations where it will have to be utilized.

On the day of my flight to Boston, I booked my Lyft (which had an ETA of 1:58 pm)…..and looking back, I was definitely playing a dangerous game because takeoff was at 2:35 pm.

I figured everything would go smoothly. I have TSA precheck and the last time I flew with precheck, I was through in like 6 minutes. But lemme tell you that was NOT the case this time. I even almost fainted because of how stressed I was.

So, I get to the precheck line and there’s no line. Everything’s seeming good. It’s 2 PM, I look on my ticket and realize that boarding ends at 2:20 so I’m just hoping all goes well. And it in fact, did not go well.

My bag ended up getting flagged so it was moved behind the glass, and OF COURSE I happened to be in the line where the TSA agents were moving the slowest I’ve ever seen any move in my life (mind you, all other lines are moving swiftly). So I’m looking around like is someone going to check the bags? That’s when the man who is getting his little ass laptop case checked in front of me ended up having the whole line on pause because the agent said he needed to wait for a ticket.

Now there’s only one agent working and the lady is going so slow I’m about to cry. I look to her and begin to ask if she could just check mine real quick and she responds “sorry, I have to go in order” mind you my bag is like FOURTH. and these people are already not moving at all. I swear, I almost threw up. I knew I couldn’t pass out though because If I did, I’d definitely miss the flight so I held onto the counter like the counter was hope, I breathed and trusted. I just prayed this would work out for me because what are the odds I’d be hit with so much delay. (I also learned my lesson about coming so close on time)

When they FINALLY got to my bag, the check took literally 2 minutes which made me want to rip my hair out but instead I grabbed my bag and RAN. (and of course a bunch of people came in front of me on the escalator).

I ran all the way down to my gate (which of course was ALL the way down and around the corner). I even had to stop to make sure I didn’t vomit. When I finally got to my gate, the woman at the counter tells me that my flight gate was actually moved ………..and the flight was DELAYED BY AN HOUR. Lord I almost CRIED. I brought myself back down and took a moment. When I sat to wait, I looked out the window and saw an angel orb and I knew that was confirmation. I held on to trust and hope, I prayed that if I was truly meant to go where I was being led that I would make the plane. I didn’t give a damn about the time….I didn’t even look at it since I got into the airport. Literally moving on faith rather than sight and everything worked out for me better than expected. I’m extremely grateful. It was a quick flight, I had an amazing weekend…but best believe I will be going to the airport much earlier.

Have you been more tired lately ? Maybe you’ve been seeing vampires pop up, Twilight may be significant (Vampire movies). Eclipse. You might have been craving garlic. Garlic bread, garlic crusts. Math may be significant, numbers. You may be seeing crosses.

We’re gonna get into it.

Vampires = Leeches, Parasites.

What is above feeds on what is below.

When you work for these companies, you wake up and give your energy (which is true gold) away. Allowing for that business to feed on it and grow.

That is why I stress not just pouring into everything and everyone outside of you without taking genuine time to pour into yourself. (I have a video on my Youtube channel called Golden Message / GameChanger if you’re interested in getting deeper into that. Link above, in bio )

Right now, ask yourself what is getting your energy on a day to day basis. Is it necessary ? Lets paint a picture.

A row of plants.

A water bucket.

You add water to every single plant but yours. You give them sunshine. Energy.

Then there’s your plant, in a dark shadow. Some of you haven’t even planted a seed, so you just have dry empty soil.

Can you be mad when everything outside of you is prospering but you? You can’t.

The goal is to make sure you are watering you. Even if it’s for 10 minutes.

Don’t say “I don’t have time.”……You have 16 hours ( I subtracted 8 for sleep). You’re telling me you’re okay spending all of your waking life pouring energy into everything else?

Sometimes the energy vampire isn’t even anyone else. Sometimes it’s you, because you lack boundaries, you aren’t properly feeding your body, you aren’t resting, you aren’t watering yourself yet you’re pushing your vessel to do a billion things then when you’re tired, you’re giving it screen time and caffeine. Be fucking forreal. YOU are sucking the life out of YOU.

And I get it, because I was the over giver at one point too. I was a people pleaser, I was putting everyone else and their opinion before myself. But one day I said fuck that. It’s not sustainable. It’s killing you. And babe, imma be honest with you…..many people are sitting in selfish energy (and not the healthy selfishness). They don’t mind one going down if it means they get something from it. They’re operating in a deep self preservation and I need you to tap into that as well. Preserve your own energy, let em find somebody else to do it.