One of my friends, 8taro00, has unfortunately passed away a couple days ago. I have not been doing okay since.

(disclaimer: we did not know eachother in real life, but they were such a great friend to me that i haven't been dealing with it well)

Explanation: I met Taro 4 days after I made my Discord account, and we became friends surprisingly quickly. They were one of the actual best friends I have ever had. They also helped with a bunch of things, like coming up with names or design choices for some of my characters. I'd even go on to say they were the entire reason I'm still alive, because they helped me in my actual darkest moments.

But on Saturday (Dec 27), I got a DM from one of our other friends that knows them in real life, and he let me know that unfortunately Taro got in a severe car crash and didn't know if they were okay. I started worrying, but thought they'd make it. But, just a few minutes after, he told me that they sadly died in the hospital.

I have been struggling. Since that day, every time I went to sleep, I would constantly wish that I didn't wake up. At one point, I even almost considered self harm. But I know that just because Taro left me doesn't mean I should leave everyone else. (i am not considering it whatsoever anymore)

If I'm gonna be completely, absolutely, totally honest... I had some kind of feelings for them. It wasn't insane, but I did like them, and knowing they're gone just breaks me. I can't begin to describe how much pain I feel looking at our DMs, looking at our servers, and even our group chats, knowing they're gone.

I've been trying to get over it, but it's not easy. I almost feel like I lost a part of me. They were the reason I do some of the things I do, and like some of the things I like. And now I feel like half of me is gone.

I miss them. I miss them a lot. That day was particularly quiet for me on Discord, especially because they weren't talking (they were almost always active), but I didn't suspect a thing. I had no idea what would happen.

I am still trying my best to stay up and keep moving, but I feel like I genuinely can't. I feel completely devastated, and I don't even know if I'll ever accept it. I'm trying to, but it's very difficult.

Takeaway:

Always cherish your friends and family. Keep them close. You never know when their time is up. And when it is, make sure to at least be there with them for their final moments. Stay as close as you can to everyone you love for as long as you can.

I miss you so much, Taro. I'm so sorry you had to go.