Here Lies Bryan's 30s

The Funeral & First Official Bry-Mitzvah

In classic Bryan fashion he's had 40 years to plan this, and only now sending the invites ;)A little backstory on this:
Bryan was at a funeral last year and noted how exceptionally beautiful all the eulogies were. Then, in a moment of insightful reflection he asked himself, "Why does someone have to fucking die, or get married, before people say fun shit about them on a mic?"So...since he's not getting married anytime soon (or dying, for that matter), he needs some life excuse to treat you all to dinner and drinks in exchange for shameless gifting, speeches, and dancing.Now, straight to the obituary formalities:
We can say with utmost certainty that the 30s of Bryan (with a Y) Hansen will be dead by October 17th (however he didn't want to compete on his actual October 12th bday with Thanksgiving, and might be spending some time in Stockholm for the Mayhem tour...but that's a story for when we bury his 40s).Scandalous, adventurous, occasionally heartfelt, mildly arousing and forever dramatic. Survived by jokes of debatable taste, margaritas, and only one night spent in prison (to be fair, that was in his 20s before Bry-Mitzvahs were invented).On October 17, 2025, at The Arc in Vancouver, close friends and chosen family will gather for a Black Tie Beetlejuice rite of passage. Guests are invited to deliver 1–2 minute eulogies before dinner and dancing (more details to reserve your live mic spot in the RSVP link).For those a little stage-shy or unable to attend, you can still upload something to say via the Eulogy Portal and Bryan will read it himself (all dramatic license reserved).Please RSVP and indicate dietary preferences so we can prepare to wine and dine you on the estate of his 30s.ORDER OF SERVICEDoors @ 5pm:
Cocktails, Appies & Mingling for early mournersArrive by Service @ 7:30pm:
Commencement of Bry-Mitzvah. Dinner and Eulogies, Dancing and Shenanigans until the traditional hour of 12am.PRO TIP:
This is your excuse to leave work early on Friday, October 17th!"Sorry (insert boss name), I have a funeral to attend." (Technically it's not not true).if you've used your funeral card for the season, perhaps double-down on a cultural dice roll with:"I have a Métis Mitzvah to attend. If I'm late, that's on you."

Ceremony StructureAttending the event?
Hit the RSVP button. You can also book your live eulogy spot, or come back later to the Eulogy Portal.Can't make it but want to send a few words? Attending but too shy for a mic? Weren't invited but stumbled on this link? Don't even know Bryan and just want to feel included?
Skip straight to the Eulogy Portal. Your words will live forever (or at least until after Bryan reads them).

Bry-Mitzvah [brahy-mitz-vuh] (n.)The ceremonial rite observed when Bryan with a Y formally enters his pre-Zaddy era (status: TRAINOR / TRAINEE).A gathering marked by eulogies, margaritas, and questionable life choices for your particular demographic.Syn: glow-up, resurrection, tequila sacrament.

Dress Code:
Black Tie Beetlejuice
• October 17, 2025 •
Doors @ 5pm, Service @7:30pm
The Arc, Vancouver

FAQs (That Nobody Asked but Bryan's Answering Anyway)

Where do I go when I arrive?
There will be a greeter in the lobby to guide you. Follow the scent of Patron-laced-with-floral-undertones-of-shame. Timing is casual, but try to be there for 7:30pm if you can!Where do I park?
Street parking is available, as well as public pay parking on P1 of the building. Budget accordingly or carpool with someone who loves you enough to drive.What exactly is "Black Tie Beetlejuice"?
Think wedding attire, but make it weird if you like. We're past the formalities of Thanksgiving, but not quite to Halloween, so you're probably in the middling area of having some nice clothes recently used, and some costume ideas popping up.
Or not. I'm not a cop.Can I bring a plus one?
Yes, but venue space is limited so first come first served! Just indicate their name in the RSVP form so we can feed them appropriately and ensure they don't feel awkward during the inside jokes.What if I can't make it?
We'll miss you! But you can still submit a eulogy through the Eulogy Portal and haunt the ceremony from afar.Is there anything I should bring?
Just yourself and your stories. In lieu of gifts, we'll be taking donations for...you know what? Sure bring a gift if you like.My question wasn't on here?
That's really more of a statement, but you can text the Bry-Mitzvah Planning Committee any additional inquiries
(hint: it's me).