Twelve Key Themes
Our difficult thoughts and feelings often centre around key themes (often technically called
‘narratives’, ‘schemas’, or ‘core beliefs’). Below is a list of 12 common themes that link together a
whole range of beliefs, attitudes, judgments, memories, feelings, emotions, and urges. When we get
hooked by these themes, they often pull us into self-defeating patterns of behaviour. When we
notice and name a theme (‘Here’s the “No One Cares” theme,’ or ‘Here’s my mind repeating the
“People Pleasing” theme,’ or ‘Aha! The “Life Sucks” theme!’ or ‘This feeling is part of the “Not Safe”
theme’) this helps us unhook from the thoughts, feelings, memories and urges linked to it.
Not Good Enough
Thoughts and feelings linked to the idea/belief that you are defective, damaged, unworthy,
unlovable, stupid, inferior, ‘nobody’, and so on.
No One Cares
Thoughts and feelings linked to the idea/belief that others are uncaring, and can’t or won’t
understand, support, guide, help, protect or care for you.
Perfectionism
Thoughts and feelings linked to the idea/belief that you must always do things perfectly or to an
extremely high standard - and if you don’t, you’re bad or unworthy
Reject or Abandon
Thoughts and feelings linked to the idea/belief that relationships are fragile or destined to fail; that
others will reject you or abandon you; that ultimately you’ll be alone.
Can’t Do It
Thoughts and feelings linked to the idea/belief that you can’t do things, or are likely to fail, because
you’re incompetent or defective; or you lack qualities such as discipline, willpower or self-control; or
you need someone else to help/support you - you can’t do it alone or independently.
People Pleasing
Thoughts and feelings linked to the idea/belief that you have to please others, keep them happy,
submit to their will, or put their needs in front of yours.
Superiority
Thoughts and feelings linked to the idea/belief that you are superior to others in various ways,
entitled to special treatment, or exempt from the same rules as everyone else.
Life Sucks
Thoughts and feelings linked to the idea/belief that life is basically bad. The world is a bad place,
people are basically bad, and there is little to be positive about.
Don’t Trust!
Thoughts & feelings linked to the idea/belief that others are basically untrustworthy: dangerous,
deceitful, manipulative, unreliable, etc. One way or another, they will hurt, disappoint or betray you.
Not Safe
Thoughts and feelings linked to the idea/belief that life, the world, other people are dangerous or
unpredictable, and you are at risk, not safe.
Need Approval
Thoughts and feelings linked to the idea/belief that you must have approval, positive feedback,
recognition or praise from others, even at the cost of being true to yourself.
Tough Punishment
Thoughts and feelings linked to the idea/belief that it’s necessary to be harsh, judgmental and
punitive when people make mistakes, fail, or have shortcomings.
© Russ Harris 2021 [Link]
