Narcissism Personality Disorder

Narcissism is a personality trait that is actually classified as a personality disorder. The

definition of narcissist according to WebMD is “A disorder in which a person has an

inflated sense of self-importance.” This definition gives the impression that this disorder

is quite simple and straight-forward; however, nothing could be further from the truth.

Narcissism has a whole array of negative characteristics; according to the HelpGuide

“Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking

and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive

need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative,

selfish, patronizing, and demanding. This way of thinking and behaving surfaces in

every area of the narcissist’s life: from work and friendships to family and love

relationships.” (Smith &Robinson, 2022, HelpGuide) This is just a tip of the iceberg when it

comes someone who has Narcissist Personality Disorder. Narcissist have many tactics

to get exactly what they want and will ensure that their way is always the outcome in

every situation or argument. Manipulation and gaslighting are a narcissist choice of

warfare to guarantee their victory over their victim: “Gaslighting is a technique that

undermines a person's perception of reality. When someone is gaslighting you, you may

second-guess yourself, your memories, recent events, and your perceptions. After

communicating with the person gaslighting you, you may be left feeling dazed and

wondering if there is something wrong with you. You may be encouraged to think you

are actually to blame for something or that you're just being too sensitive.” stated by

Sherri Gordon in the What is Gaslighting? When gaslighting fails to produce the desired

outcome, the person suffering with NPD will try other forms of manipulation such as the
following: labeling, exaggerating, stonewalling, scapegoating, and dehumanizing.

Labeling is when the narcissist uses terms like weak, stupid, and needy; however, this

tells more about the fears of the narcissist themselves. Exaggerating inflates the

narcissist’s ego while deflating others around them. Stonewalling and scapegoating are

similar, stonewalling refuses to admit fault while scapegoating places blame.

Dehumanizing allows the narcissist to justify their actions by using dismissive and

devaluing comments. (Neuharth, 2021, Psychology Today )

The trait originated from Greek mythology named after Narcissus, a young hunter who

was so obsessed with his beauty that he would not stop looking at his reflection in a

pool of water. The hunter died from thirst because he would not stop looking at himself.

(Organizational Behavior pg. 52) Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit

before a fall, this scripture describes Narcissus and his downfall. (Proverbs 16:18,

NKJV) It was because of his prideful ways and lack of humility that ultimately cost him

his life. Specialists are unsure of the cause and have yet to find a cure for the disorder.

Research suggests that the person suffering from NPD is unaware of their negative

traits and since they have such a high opinion of themselves, they see their traits as

positive. Since the narcissist only sees their traits as positive and encouraging they

cannot nor do not want help to change or correct this behavior. It is also suggested that

narcissists do not truly love anyone other than themselves and the only reason why they

marry is for self-serving reasons and to have someone to feed their ego. If the

narcissist’s spouse no longer serves to feed their ego or upstages them in any way then

the narcissist will either manipulate them until they get what they want or they will cut all

ties.
As one anonymous narcissist states “It’s not easy being superior to everyone.”

Narcissism in the workplace is something that should be avoided if at all possible.

Narcissists will take disproportional credit as well as put other co-workers down to show

their superiority. Those with NPD would be terrible leaders in any environment because

while they are charismatic and charming; they have many ideas to further the company,

but they lack any follow-through. They lack all substance and will usually persuade

someone else to do the actual work with the intention of taking credit for it. “More often

than not their grandiose ideas become broken promises, unmet expectations, missed

deadlines, overspent budgets, and disappointing failures. Some clever narcissists will

profess to have learned valuable lessons, in order to con and manipulate you to support

his next unrealistic scheme” (Ni, 2015, Psychology Today)Living with someone who has

NPD itself can be a huge challenge, however, being that they are most likely a loved

one, we tend to overlook and sometimes avoid those with said disorder. Narcissism in

the workplace can oftentimes be a worse scenario than that of a loved one, given the

person holds a position of power. As an employee, you will have no choice except to

either cater to that person’s grandiose ideas or risk being unemployed.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

(Jeremiah 17:9, KJV, Bible Gateway) Throughout life we are taught to listen to our

hearts and to follow our hearts; however, for a person suffering from NPD this is a real

issue. The Bible instructs us to love one another (John 13:34, KJV, Bible Gateway) and

that love is the greatest of these (1 Corinthians 13:13, KJV, Bible Gateway); however, a

narcissist cannot love anyone other than themselves. Narcissist Personality Disorder is

a real condition that causes issues, not only for the one suffering from the disorder but
those around the one suffering as well, in every aspect of someone’s life, whether it be

in a romantic relationship or the workplace.

To conclude, while we all know someone who displays one or two of these traits, the

truth is only .5% of the population has this diagnosis. (Narcissistic personality disorder:

2020, Cleveland Clinic)If you know someone or work with someone who displays all these

traits then they may be, suffering from this disorder. If at all possible try to avoid this

person or limit the amount of time you spend with them. The best solution would be to

be a positive example to them and hope they choose to see those great qualities. Be

thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in

purity. (1 Timothy 4:12, KJV, Bible Gateway)