Gỏi đu đủ with fish and shramp

A foreword: It’s been a while since I’ve posted a recipe. There’s a lot of things going on currently in the world. I’d like to say that during this time, it’s imperative that we take care of ourselves and be responsible during the pandemic WHILE supporting the Black community and fighting against white supremacy. Please share and donate to any mutual aid funds for Black folks that need help whether it’s for bail funds, housing, medical expenses, etc. It is so, so, SO important to unlearn and decolonize anti-blackness within ourselves and our surroundings. Please do good out there. Links to some resources, but please do the work to look for other organizations and individuals that need your help:
https://blacklivesmatter.carrd.co/
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-0KC83vYfVQ-2freQveH43PWxuab2uWDEGolzrNoIks/mobilebasic?fbclid=IwAR0zIYlxvOAQh6LDych9e3LCZ8nf2I43gPzEnfWCeYMAe1zB00tTv0PEHZs

A đụụụụụụụụ! It’s been pretty hot these days and heavy foods aren’t cutting it for me. This one is a childhood favorite and perfect for hot weather, especfially if you’re looking for a healthy and refreshing dish that won’t make you feel like shit afterward. In this recipe, I’m going to show you how I make gỏi đu đủ (papaya salad). This recipe can 100% be made vegetarian or vegan, it’s really up to you. Let’s FUCKIN GO!

Approximate cost to make: (not including sauces used) $13.50
$3.50 entire green papaya
$1 carrot
$1 cucumber
$0.75 rau răm
$0.50 white onion
$6/lb striped bass (use any “white” meat fish you’d like)
$1.50 dried shrimp

Prep time: 15 min (depending how fast you can SHRED)
Cook time: 10 min


Ingredients:

  • 1 green papaya (you can also possibly get it pre-shredded at an Asian market)
  • 1 large cucumber
  • 1 large carrot
  • 1 cup onion chopped
  •  Rau răm (apparently called Vietnamese coriander lol)
  • Optional: 1 green mango
  • 1 cup dried shrimp (the small kind)
  • 1 whole striped sea bass (or any white meat fish, or as much fish meat you want)

Sauce ingredients:

  • 1 parts nước mắm (there are vegetarian and vegan options “chay” for this sauce)
  • 2 parts water
  • Chopped red chili (fresh) — as much as you want
  • Huy Fong chili garlic sauce (the sauce with pulpy chili) — 0.5 tbsp
  • Lemon/lime juice — to taste
  • Sugar — 1 tbsp
  • Garlic powder (or fresh minced garlic for extra texture and zing) — as much as you want

Directions:

  • Basically, you’re gonna shred the papaya, carrot, and cucumber at the speed of light. Remember to shred away from you, not toward you to avoid injuries!
  • Chop onion into thin strips, chopped, minced, whatever you want.
  • Roll up a bundle of rau răm leaves and then cut with scissors to ribbon the leaves
  • Add all shredded, chopped, and cut ingredients to bowl
  • Add dried shrimp (or not if you’re vegan/vegetarian, you can find other alternatives you’d like. Maybe dried shredded mushrooms or mungbean strips that have been dried and soaked in salt water)
  • On a frying pan, add frying oil and fry your fish on high heat until SUPER crispy on both sides. You should be able to tell when the fish has shrunken more than half and has a crispy outer layer. Took about ten minutes, roughly 5 minutes each side.
  • Remove fish and set on a napkin to dab oil off of (if you’re lucky and are near an Asian market that has free fish frying in their butcher area, get that done there to save time!)
  • For vegetarian / vegan options, use the “chay” fish fillets and fry until they are crispy. You’ll want to chop them finely before you fry
  • With gloves or a fork, shred the fish meat into the bowl with your previously added ingredients. Mix it up real nice
  • You can either add your sauce directly into the bowl or add what you’d like into your own serving

I really enjoy this dish over rice or on its own. Enjoy!

yaco smell’s spicy potate soft taco

YAKWTFGO! This recipe is dedicated to all the stoners out there who love some mf Taco Bell. I can literally eat 10 of these in one sitting depending on how hard my munchies are. 3-4 is my usual go to, but once the ouid activates I can’t hold back. TB’s spicy potato soft taco is easily one of my favorite food items to have ever existed. This recipe is not an exact replica of Taco Bell btw this is just how I enjoyed mine! I wanna estimate this recipe yields about 12 tacos, depending on your potato size. LET’S FUCKIN GOOOO

Approximate cost to make: $6.50 (not including “Chipotle” sauce)
$2 for white corn tortillas (TB uses flour but I prefer corn)
$1 for shredded iceberg lettuce
$3 for shredded Mexican blend cheese
$0.50 for 1 russet potato

Prep time: 35 min
Cook time: up to 25 min (depends if you are using an air fryer or frying pan)

Ingredients:

  • 1 potato
  • Taco sized tortillas
  • Shredded cheese
  • Iceberg lettuce
  • Creamy chipotle sauce (if you don’t have chipotle sauce like me, I improvised a sauce. I’ll include below)
  • Taco Bell’s fire sauce
  • Cooking oil
  • All purpose flour
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Garlic powder
  • Paprika

Directions:

  • Cut up your potato into small pieces and let it soak in a bowl of water for 20-30 minutes. This will remove excess starch and help you achieve maximum cronchicrispiness
  • Remove potatoes and pat dry. Add to a bowl with approximately 1.5 tbsp of cooking oil. Make sure the cubes are coated
  • Add flour, and the above spices (you can also not season your potatoes if you want a basic fried potato but why not season…)
  • Air fry your potatoes at 385 degrees F for 20 minutes, shaking and flipping the contents halfway through.
  • If you’re not air frying, then pan fry with hot oil until desired crispiness. Remove potatoes and set aside.
  • Sauce recipe: mix sour cream or plain yogurt, small bit of kewpie mayo, onion powder, garlic powder, sugar, salt, paprika, chili powder, sriracha (not exactly how TB does it but this tastes rly good I promise you)
  • On a hot pan, toast up your tortillas until desired toastiness
  • Lay tortillas on a plate, add your chipotle sauce
  • Add your fried potatoes, then layer with cheese and lettuce. You can also add Pico de gallo (I often order pico with my Taco Bell orders if I’m feeling extra flavorful)
  • Top it all off with TB’s fire sauce (the BEST TB sauce) and inhale that baby. I like 2-3 sauce packets per taco. I am the kind of person who has a drawer full of TB’s fire sauce in my house lol

May everyone’s yaco smell dreams come tru.

Leftovers cronch cake

Do you ever have leftover produce but aren’t sure what to do with it before it spoils and goes bad? Usually the go-to option is making it into a fried rice but if you’re like me, I don’t just want to have fried rice on its own. I’d want a side to go with it like some type of protein, separate vegetable dish, soup, etc. So why not something fun? A cronch cake is something that you can make practically out of any of your groceries that are bound to spoil in the next couple days and you can make lots of servings of it! You can even freeze the cakes if you have too much batter, re-fry/bake them and have them at your convenience. For this recipe, I’m using ingredients that I had that were about to go bad!

Approximate cost to make: really depends on what kinda leftovers you have. I estimate this to be about $5.

Prep time: 10-15 min
Cook time: 10 min per cake

Ingredients (…my leftovers lol):

  • half a cabbage
  • carrots
  • two eggs
  • quarter white onion
  • bundle enoki mushrooms
  • green onions
  • third block of tofu (not pictured)
  • salt & pepper
  • soy sauce
  • rice flour
  • all-purpose flour

Directions:

  • In a large bowl, chop up all ingredients into small/thin pieces. I halved my enoki mushrooms
  • I added crumbled and crushed tofu after mixing all the “dry” ingredients
  • Beat 2-3 eggs and add to the mixture, fold and mix well so everything is coated
  • Add soy sauce to taste
  • Add approximately a half cup of all-purpose flour, and some tablespoons of rice flour
  • Mix everything until it is like a chunky paste, not so much a runny batter.
  • Add cooking oil to a hot pan/griddle/skillet. I used a portable griddle press LOL
  • For the griddle press, you can make the mound tall enough so the top plate can cook the top of the cronch cake
  • I left it to cook for about 3-4 minutes. You can check the edges if they are getting golden brown and crispy to flip it over!
  • As you can see, the top for my cake is sort of being pressed by the top plate lmao so I flipped it over. The excess moisture is being released. Make sure if you’re not using a griddle press like me, to cover this while it is frying so the inside of the cake is getting steamed.
  • After another couple of minutes on the other side, the cake should be finished.

I know it doesn’t look beautiful, but it sure is delicious. Enjoy this with a sauce of your choice. Some sauces I’ve had my cronch cakes with are a soy sauce and sriracha mix, sriracha and kewpie mayo, and sriracha and ketchup! Remember you can honestly do this kinda cake with any type of leftovers. You can even use ingredients that aren’t about to spoil, which I’m sure the flavor quality will be much better. Enjoy!

Air-fryer buffalo cauliflower bites

Fun and easy snack to monch on. The first time I had this was at a vegan restaurant. After following some recipes online, I finally got this down to a tee. I initially followed Buzzfeed’s recipe using an oven but just couldn’t get the crispiness right no matter what I did. So I’m blaming it on my oven for this one, but to be fair I’m pretty bad at baking things in general lol. After getting an air fryer, I’ve been pretty hooked on following Cheap Lazy Vegan‘s air fryer recipes and improvised some of the steps / added my own preferred seasonings and textures. Hopefully if anyone tries this recipe out but doesn’t have an air fryer, they can perhaps follow an oven recipe that works just as well. Or deep fry method? Enjoy!

Approximate cost to make: $6 (estimating the cost of other ingredients and amount used that are not cauliflower i.e flour, seasoning, etc)
– $2 for one whole cauliflower

Prep time: 10 min
Cook time: 25-30 min

Ingredients:

  • whole cauliflower
  • all-purpose flour
  • garlic powder
  • salt
  • pepper
  • paprika
  • onion powder
  • ground ginger
  • lemon pepper
  • Water or milk or milk alternative (to add for batter)
  • breading (panko, crumbs, etc. I used chopped and freeze dried onions)
  • Buffalo sauce of your choice (I used Sweet Baby Ray’s)
  • OPTIONAL: honey
  • OPTIONAL: sweet and sour sauce

Batter Directions:

  • In a bowl, add all-purpose flour. For the size cauliflower I had, I approximated that about one cup would be sufficient.
  • Add in your seasonings (listed above) to taste preference. I personally added about 1 tbsp of each (except for salt, that was more like 1 tsp). Feel inclined to use what you want! I just used my favorite. I think a curry powder might be interesting to add to the batter.
  • Add in your liquid (I used water and coconut milk) and mix thoroughly. To be honest, I’m not sure how much liquid I added in, but you want to make sure it’s not too runny and not too thick. I’d say pancake batter consistency lol, sorry if this wasn’t too helpful. Start off with maybe about the same amount of water to flour ratio, and continue mixing in liquid until desired consistency.
  • Set aside

Buffalo sauce directions:

  • BTW this is totally optional if you opt to just use whatever buffalo sauce you had in hand. I’m not the biggest fan of just buffalo sauce on its own (too vinegary for my taste)
  • In a bowl, I added buffalo sauce as the base.
  • Added a hot water and honey mixture (same amount of this to buffalo sauce)
  • Added about 2 tbsp sweet & sour sauce
  • Mix and set aside

Cauliflower Directions:

  • After rinsing and drying the cauliflower, cut it up into small bite-sized pieces.
  • Roll and coat the pieces as even as possible in the batter you made. I initially was coating them individually but I got lazy and enjoy short cuts so I dumped all the batter into the bowl of chopped cauliflower and tossed it around. Highly recommend individual battering if you want evenly-coated pieces though.
  • After all pieces are coated with batter, roll the cauliflower in some type of breading. Most people just like using crumbs or panko of some kind but I had neither so I used chopped and freeze-dried onion flakes. I think another really cool breading alternative would be coconut flakes… might try that one out next time if I end up buying any.
  • Make sure it is evenly covered as much as possible. No shame for people who are into short cuts (me) so I of course ended up dumping the onion flakes onto the bowl and mixed it as much as I could.
  • Your cauliflower bites should now be ready for air frying (look up oven or deep fry times and temperatures if you don’t have an air fryer!)
  • Pop them into your air fryer at 355 degrees F for 25 minutes
  • Halfway through the timer, shake or turn around the bites so they are cooked on all sides.
  • For the second half of the timer, I like to bump up the temperature to 360 degrees F for the final fry.
  • They should now be a golden crispy delicious color (lol I didn’t take a photo after I took them out of the air fryer because I was too stoned and eager to eat ASAP)
  • Put in plate or bowl and pour over your buffalo sauce, mixing it evenly one final time
  • Enjoy on its own or dipped in ranch or your favorite condiment!

Bone apple titty :^)

Pea shoots with garlic & veggie beef

Pea shoots are super versatile; stir frying, hot pot, soups, steamed, etc. They pack a lot of flavor for being really delicate. The shoots have a satisfying crunch, too! I like this recipe a lot because you can really pick any other protein of your choice to add with it. I’ve done this with prawns, tofu, and this vegetarian ground beef so far. The greens can also be interchangeable with bok choy, broccoli, spinach, watercress, bell peppers, etc. But each variety has their own appeal for textures and flavors.

Approximate cost to make: $7
$1 for large bundle peashoots
$1 for garlic pack
$0.50 for 1 white onion
$4.50 for 1 pack Gardein beefless ground beef

Prep time: 5 min
Cook time: 10 min

Ingredients:

  • Pack of pea shoots
  • Garlic (sliced)
  • Onion (chopped)
  • Ginger (sliced)
  • Vegetarian ground beef (or protein of choice, cut up or ground)
  • Frying oil
  • Sesame oil
  • Cooking wine (I use Shao Hsing)
  • Oyster sauce
  • Water
  • Sugar
  • Chili paste
  • White pepper
  • Soy sauce

Directions:

  • Sauce: Mix sesame oil, soy sauce, oyster sauce, sugar, and chili paste in a small sauce plate. Add water until desired consistency. I use equal parts for each ingredient, about 1 tbsp each except maybe half the proportion for chili paste and sugar.
  • Add frying oil to a pan on medium heat and add sliced garlic and ginger
  • Wait until garlic becomes a little translucent, then add chopped onions
  • Stir fry until onions become translucent and more liquids come from the ingredients, then add the vegetarian beef or protein of your choice
  • Stir fry all ingredients, carefully watch the onions and garlic continue to become more of a rich amber color and then add your sauce mixture
  • After stir frying the contents evenly for a minute or two, add a light splash of cooking wine and mix until liquids are evenly spread into the vegetarian beef
  • Add entire pack of pea shoots directly on top
  • Gently spread the shoots across the ingredients until an even thickness, then cover with a lid. Wait until the shoots begin to shrink in size and liquid comes out of the shoots to lift lid
  • Continue stir frying, your dish will basically be ready when you see that the garlic is transparent and stained amber brown from the sauce mixture.
  • Serve over rice and enjoy!

Hope y’all get to try this one out.

Gai lan & vegetarian pork

I love this dish! It has one of my favorite vegetables, gai lan (or Chinese broccoli or kale lol they’re all in the Brassica family). You’ve probably seen this vegetable getting pushed around on dim sum carts served with a heaping amount of oyster sauce poured all over it. Luckily, you’ll only pay a fraction of the price by making it at home versus ordering it out. I took that dish and just added one of my favorite vegetarian style meats over it. I really recommend checking out your nearest Asian grocery store/ supermarket for shopping since it’s really affordable and you’ll be able to find a lot of these Asian ingredients there than at Safeway. It’s also a better option for shopping if you are on a vegetarian, vegan, pescatarian, etc. type of diet but still want meat alternatives.

Approximate cost to make: $10 (not considering sauces and oils)
– $2 for bundle of kai lan
– $8 for vegetarian pork

Sauce costs (these will last you a looong time)
– $4 for bottle of oyster sauce (I used Lee Kum Kee brand)
– $4 for bottle of sesame oil (I used Kadoya brand)
– $10 for a large bottle of mirin

Prep time: 15-20 min
Cook time: 10 min

Ingredients:

  • Bundle of gailan
  • Pack of vegetarian pork (or whatever “meat” you want really, whether veg or not) — mine was already pre-marinated and seasoned
  • Salt
  • Sesame oil
  • Oyster sauce
  • Mirin
  • Minced/fried garlic

Sauce directions:

  • Add a 2:1 ratio of oyster sauce to sesame oil together
  • Add about a tsp of Mirin
  • Mix it up

Gai lan directions:

  • Cut the ends of the gai lan stems, as well as the segments off (they grow as multi-fused stems) so that they are individual stems.
  • Let the gai lan soak up to 15 minutes (my gai lan was withered, so soaking them allows them to increase their water content as well as letting them perk back up fully while getting rid of excess dirt), then strain
  • In a pot of boiling water (with a pinch of salt added), add the gai lan and let them blanch for 2-3 minutes
  • They will be fully cooked when the stems are a dark green. Be careful of letting them sit for too long, or else they will be soggy and not crunchy.
  • Remove the gai lan and set on a serving plate
  • Add the sauce you made! When you drizzle sauce over the gai lan, this will keep them coated and prevent them from drying out before you add your meat.
You can see that the stems and leaves are a much darker green. This picture has the sauce that I had prepared and drizzled over the gai lan.

Vegetarian pork directions:

  • Cut up the pork into smaller pieces (they came in large circles), the size is up to you!
  • Since the pork already came marinated with a type of oil in it, I just pan fried this without heating the pan up with oil for about 5 minutes.
  • Add chopped up fried garlic (I have a container of chopped and fried garlic already, it’s perfect for topping onto mi goreng. If you don’t have this on hand, you should mince or chop up fresh garlic on a hot pan with oil before adding the vegetarian pork in it. Or you can just add actual meat if you don’t have dietary restrictions).
  • Add over the gai lan you made earlier and serve over rice.

Đậu hũ chiên sốt cà

Super simple and quick dish to make that can last a couple of meals. I like making this dish because it reminds me of when my dad and I would run out of food and we’d throw simple ingredients we had left over to have over rice. It’s rich and refreshing at the same time, as well as filling.

Approximate cost to make: ~$8 (not considering the sauces, oil, spices)
– $3 for 1 pack firm tofu
– $2 for 3 tomatoes
– $1 for garlic pack
– $1 for pack of green onion (you can always let it sit in jar of water to continually use and then transplant into soil)
– $0.50 for 1 white onion

Prep time: 15 min
Cook time: 15-20 min

Ingredients:

  • firm tofu (cubed, or cut into whatever shape you want)
  • onion (qty depends on how much you want to make. I’d say 1 pack tofu : 1 onion)
  • shallot (optional but I like to use it)
  • minced garlic
  • sugar
  • salt & pepper
  • cut up tomatoes (size of cut up tomatoes depends on if you want it more chunky or saucy. Bigger the cut, the chunkier the sauce. I used 3 Roma tomatoes)
  • cooking wine (I use Shao Hsing cooking wine)
  • water
  • fish sauce (there are vegan alternatives)
  • oyster sauce (there are vegan alternatives)
  • frying & cooking oil

Fried tofu Directions:

  • For air fryer: 400 degrees F for 15 minutes, then put away on a separate bowl/plate
  • For pan: Fry tofu over medium-high heat on frying oil until skin is brown and crisped, pat dry with a napkin, and put away.

Tomato sauce directions:

  • Heat up a pot/sauce pan with cooking oil (~2 tbsp) over medium-high heat
  • Add cut up onions and shallots until transparent
What I meant by “translucent” onions
  • Add minced garlic to onions and shallots
  • Wait until all ingredients are JUST about to brown, then small splash of cooking wine
  • Lower to medium heat and add tomatoes, let simmer for 10-15 minutes while occasionally stirring to let the tomatoes break down to a reduced sauce
  • Lower to low heat then add sugar, fish sauce, and oyster sauce to preferred taste
  • Add water and stir in all ingredients while on a light simmer to preferred sauce consistency
After simmering for some time, tomatoes will break down
  • After the sauce is reduced to the consistency that you like, add the fried tofu and stir it around so all fried tofu pieces are coated evenly.
  • Serve over rice and top with green onion

If you get stoned like I did, you can fry a ton of more tofu and just add it to whatever remnants of sauce you have left. Make sure you add a little bit of water each time, so the sauce breaks down more and can coat your tofu. It won’t have as much as a “strong” tomato taste as your previous batches, but it’ll still taste good!

Enjoy! Hope y’all try this out.