---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Perfect
☑ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Okay
☐ Bad
☐ Very stylized
☐ They're what they should be for what the game is
☐ MS Paint could make something better

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Fantastic
☐ Excellent
☑ Perfect
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Meh
☐ Bad, but playable
☐ Just go watch paint dry

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☐ Amazing
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not to bad
☐ Alright
☐ Bad
☐ My ears are bleeding

---{ Audience }---
☑ Babies
☑ Young kids
☑ Young teens
☑ Older teens
☑ Adults
☑ Old people
☑ Anyone with a decent maturity level
☑ Anyone with a lack of maturity
☑ Anyone that is alive
☑ No one, not even your dog

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☑ Potato
☐ Just average
☐ A little better than average
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Better than good
☐ Fancy Pants Rich Boy
☐ NASA

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Can choose your difficulty setting
☐ No difficulty needed
☐ Just press 'W"
☑ Easy
☐ Medium
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Hard
☐ Verry Difficult

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if you like to collect things
☑ Only if you care about steam achievements
☑ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Only if you care about rankings/placements/leaderboards/etc.
☐ Average grind level
☐ A little grindy
☐ Too much grind
☐ You‘ll need a second life, maybe some macros, & a will to live for grinding

---{ Story }---
☑ Story? What story?
☐ No Story
☐ Twilight was a better love story than this
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It‘ll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☑ 1-2 Hours
☐ 2-5 Hours
☐ 5-10 Hours
☐ 10-20 Hours
☐ 20-50 Hours
☐ 50+ Hours
☐ 100+ Hours
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Replayablity }---
☐ You won't even finish it the first time
☐ None, once was enough
☐ Not that kind of game
☐ You don't stop playing this kinda game, ever
☑ Maybe once or twice, to try something new
☐ You'll want to get every single possible ending & secret there is
☐ You'll pick it up every few years, but never finish a whole playthrough
☐ A lot, just to romance everyone, pick new options. try new classes, etc

---{ Price }---
☐ It’s free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If you have some money to blow
☐ Wait for it to go on sale for the 100th time
☐ Ask someone to gift it to you instead
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Circumstantial (PC specs, internet, save/install location, etc.)
☑ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Very low
☑ Low
☐ Average
☐ High
☐ Too much

---{ Worth It }---
☐ Hell no!
☐ If you have a lot of cash
☑ Worth it!
☐ Get it now!
☐ Life is not complete without this game!

---{ TEXT }---
Let's be honest: I bought this game for the same reason I still have an old t-shirt from 10 years ago in my closet. Not because it's "cutting edge," but because it makes me feel like I'm back in 2005, on a Saturday afternoon in front of a giant CRT monitor.
First impression? It's exactly how I remembered it.
That distinctive sound of a pulley struggling to lift a 20-ton rock (which I obviously accidentally hit instead of the gold nugget) is "music" to the ears of any former Flash gaming site kid. On Steam, everything feels more stable, but the raw charm remains intact.
What pleasantly surprised me:
That stupid tension: My heart still skips a little when I have 5 seconds left, I need $50 for the objective, and the grappling hook swings agonizingly slowly towards the last piece of gold. It's an adrenaline rush that modern games with 4K graphics sometimes fail to convey.
Shop strategy: I still stand at the end of a level and ask myself, "Do I really need the dynamite or should I just grab the clover pollen for luck?" It's the little management exercise I didn't know I needed.
Co-op mode: Playing this with a friend on the couch turns everything into total chaos. We fight over the same diamonds and curse each other when one of us grabs a fixed boulder when the other had a clear path to the big gold.
The less rosy side:
Yeah, after an hour, you start to see the "pixels." It's not a game you can play for 5 hours straight without getting bored. It's more of a digital "digestive" - ​​something you turn on when you have 15 minutes to spare or when you want to show someone younger how we used to waste our time "back in the day".
My bottom line:
Gold Miner: Classic Edition isn't about graphics or innovation. It's about that moment of pure satisfaction when you catch that tiny, fast diamond just before the timer runs out. For the price of a coffee, I got a piece of my childhood back that runs perfectly on my modern PC.

---{ 9 / 10 }---
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classic mini game