1. Take a deep breath.
The first thing to do when you get anxious is to breathe
Deep diaphragmatic breathing is a powerful anxiety-reducing technique because
it activates the bodys relaxation response. It helps the body go from the fight-orflight response of the sympathetic nervous system to the relaxed response of the
parasympathetic nervous system.
Try slowly inhaling to a count of 4, filling your belly first and then your chest,
gently holding your breath to a count of 4, and slowly exhaling to a count of 4 and
repeat several times.
You may notice that when your body is tense, you hold your breath. Focusing on
breathing is a common but effective technique for calming the nerves.
Where is your breath now, and where is your mind? Bring them together. Listen
to the movement of your breath. Does your mind wander somewhere else? Call it
back.
Concentrate only on breathing in and out, beginning and ending, breath to breath,
moment to moment.
2. Accept that youre anxious.
Remember that anxiety is just a feeling, like any other feeling.
By reminding yourself that anxiety is simply an emotional reaction, you can start
to accept it.
Acceptance is critical because trying to wrangle or eliminate anxiety often
worsens it. It just perpetuates the idea that your anxiety is intolerable.
But accepting your anxiety doesnt mean liking it or resigning yourself to a
miserable existence.
It just means you would benefit by accepting reality as it is and in that moment,
reality includes anxiety. The bottom line is that the feeling of anxiety is less than
ideal, but it is not intolerable.
3. Realize that your brain is playing tricks on you.
Remind yourself that it will pass and your brain is playing tricks on you
It helps remove the shame, guilt, pressure and responsibility for fixing yourself or
judging yourself in the midst of needing nurturing more than ever.
4. Question your thoughts.
When people are anxious, their brains start coming up with all sorts of outlandish
ideas, many of which are highly unrealistic and unlikely to occur.
These thoughts only heighten an individuals already anxious state.
For instance, say youre about to give a wedding toast. Thoughts like Oh my
God, I cant do this. It will kill me may be running through your brain. Remind
yourself, however, that this isnt a catastrophe, and in reality, no one has died
giving a toast.
Ask yourself these questions when challenging your thoughts:
o Is this worry realistic?
o Is this really likely to happen?
o If the worst possible outcome happens, what would be so bad about that?
o Could I handle that?
o What might I do?
o If something bad happens, what might that mean about me?
o Is this really true or does it just seem that way?
o What might I do to prepare for whatever may happen?
5. Use a calming visualization.
Try practicing the following meditation regularly, which will make it easier to
access when youre anxious in the moment.
Picture yourself on a river bank or outside in a favourite park, field or beach.
Watch leaves pass by on the river or clouds pass by in the sky. Assign your
emotions, thoughts and sensations to the clouds and leaves, and just watch them
float by.
This is very different from what people typically do. Typically, we assign emotions,
thoughts and physical sensations certain qualities and judgments, such as good
or bad, right or wrong. And this often amplifies anxiety.
Remember that it is all just information.
6. Use positive self-talk.
Anxiety can produce a lot of negative chatter.
Use positive coping statements
For instance, you might say, this anxiety feels bad, but I can use strategies to
manage it.
7. Focus on right now.
When people are anxious, they are usually obsessing about something that might
occur in the future.
Instead, pause, breathe and pay attention to whats happening right now.
Even if something serious is happening, focusing on the present moment will
improve your ability to manage the situation.
8. Focus on meaningful activities.
Focus your attention on a meaningful, goal-directed activity.
Ask yourself what youd be doing if you werent anxious. If you were going to see
a movie, still go.
Doing what needs to get done teaches you key lessons: getting out of your head
feels better; youre able to live your life even though youre anxious; and youll get
things done.
The bottom line is, get busy with the business of life. Dont sit around focusing on
being anxious nothing good will come of that.
9. Repeat your worry until youre bored silly.
If you had a fear of elevators, youd get rid of it if you rode in one a thousand
times in a row. At first, you would be very anxious, then less so, and eventually it
would have no effect (except to make you sick of riding in an elevator).
So take the troublesome thought thats nagging at you and say it over and over,
silently, slowly, for 20 minutes. Its hard to keep your mind on a worry if you repeat
it that many times.
10. Make it worse.
When you try too hard to control your anxieties, you only heighten them.
Instead, exaggerate them and see what happens.
Notice how this makes no difference. Its nothing to worry about, right?
11. Dont fight the craziness.
You may occasionally have thoughts that lead you to think youll do something
terrible or that youre going insane.
Rememberour minds are creative. Little synapses are firing away at random,
and every now and then a crazy thought jumps out.
Everyone has them. Instead of judging yours, describe it to yourself like its a
curious object on a shelf and move on.
12. Recognize false alarms.
That fear of your house burning down because you left the iron on has never
come true. That rapid heartbeat doesnt mean youre having a heart attack; its
your bodys natural response to arousal.
Many thoughts and sensations that we interpret as cues for concerneven
panicare just background noise.
Think of each of them as a fire engine going to another place. Youve noticed
them; now let them pass by.
13. Turn your anxiety into a movie.
You can let go of a worry by disconnecting yourself from it.
One way is to imagine that your anxious thoughts are a show.
Maybe theyre a little guy in a funny hat who tap dances and sings out your worry
while you sit in the audience, eating popcorn, a calm observer.
14. Set aside worry time.
All too often we take a smartphone approach to our worries: They show up
unannounced, like constantly dinging e-mails, and we stop everything to address
themeven if we should be doing something else.
But what if you dont respond right away? Try setting aside 20 minutes every
daylets say at 4:30 [Link] for your worries. If you are fretting at 10 a.m., jot
down the reason and resolve to think it through later. By the time 4:30 comes
around, many of your troubles wont even matter anymore.
And you will have spent almost an entire day anxiety-free.
15. Let Go
When you desperately try to take command of things that cant be controlled,
youre like the swimmer who panics and slaps at the water, screaming. It gets you
nowhere. Instead, imagine that you are floating along on the water with your arms
spread out, looking up to the sky.
Its a paradox, but when you surrender to the moment, you actually feel far more
in control.
17. Make peace with time.
When youre a worrier, everything can feel like an emergency. But notice this
about all your anxious arousal: Its temporary.
Every feeling of panic comes to an end, every concern eventually wears itself out,
every so-called emergency seems to evaporate.
Ask yourself, How will I feel about this in a week or a month? This one, too,
really will pass.
18. Dont let your worries stop you from living your life.
Many of them will turn out to be false, and the consequences of your
anxietyless sleep, a rapid pulse, a little embarrassmentare just
inconveniences when it comes down to it.
What can you still do even if you feel anxious? Almost anything.
